Have a sunny weekend!

It is a set of basic rules of communication and behavior in our contemporary world. Trivial as it may seem at first glance, this unwritten code is being neglected by too many people, including my friends and associates.

Where lies the core of the concept? Why is it vital to target the global picture rather than keeping the beaten track and do only what you’re good at? It can be especially ruinous for emotional people who tend to get carried away or introverts, who lead recluse life-style.

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Unfortunately, being a good-at-something is simply not good enough. This is a luxury one cannot afford nowadays! Positioning, networking,, self-promoting and negotiating – these skills might play a crucial role, speaking in terms of career or any other sort of personal growth and professional success.

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Let’s take the very basics of negotiation. Here is a prominent example of how lack of mutual understanding and conscious escape from speaking it out, can spoil your soup and steal your job. This is a negative example, just to show you what a complex approach is not.

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An acquaintance of mine, has three kids and a profitable job, which allows her to keep a nanny on a full-time position. Said nanny is a distinguished, elderly lady, whose job sums up to “keeping the kids from killing each other”. Naturally, she hasn’t heard of or signed any kind of S.O.W. agreement. Moreover, merely associating herself in any way with the word itself, as written, might have quite bewildered her

Missed step number one – defining the scope of work, duties and liabilities.

After a while, the employer (kids’ mom) started asking and adding small pleas here and there – duties that haven’t been initially included (like making the laundry and ironing). The nanny, instead of making a perspicuous argument of her liabilities and their limitation, lowered her head and obeyed, trying to be “nice”. The feeling she’s been done “unfair”, though, slowly but surely created its niche in her mind during the long days of labor, until one day she became outraged and quit the job.

Missed step number two – re-stating and re-organizing the scope of work, duties and liabilities.

Result: A “lose-lose” situation.

***

.What can we learn from this matter? The employer was wrong asking to do things she shouldn’t have asked in the first place. Well, this frequently happens to fellows in charge. We’ll have to learn to live with that. First, learn to speak. Had the nanny made it clear right from the beginning, either demanding a higher payment for the extra job, or refusing doing tasks she wasn’t ready to do, she wouldn’t have lost her job now.

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Expecting employers (or anyone) to act in accordance with our thoughts without stating the point is futile. They usually won’t. Unless we’re explicitly straightforward and upright.. There are other examples that demonstrate that it’s not always the “nice” vice that brings things down. Unwise, reckless turns may come from the opposite direction, and end up in the same pond. My friends’ cleaning lady is a high professional in her field. But she is never returning calls from her customers. My friends say, she can be two hours late without letting them know. She can simply stand them up and decide she’s doing the broom dance on the following day. She takes no interest in establishing any sort of professional reputation in the cycle of her potential clients. As a result, despite of her being a profi charwoman, she’s at risk of being denied.

***

Taking life in a ‘sterile’ way, like these ladies and thousands more do, will always keep them one step behind. Some hate the “administrative” part, some can’t stand any sort of confrontation, even when being openly abused, some disregard the basic rules of politeness. If not in the very present, it will get them on the rebound this way or another. Directness and vigilance blended with subtle tact and courtesy prove to be a strinkingly killing combination. In all life shperes.

But let me tell you from the beginning.

***

I was looking for a Rotary club in my district. Yes, I felt an urge to do something “good”. Can’t really tell why. It might be seasonal, hormonal, or maybe I’m just getting older – who knows? The fact was that I entered their website and saw pictures of adorable people from LA, SF and other tempting places, their glorious smiles promising a lifetime spiritual adventure . Reading about the club activity, their goals and life approach has made me actually crave to try it myself.

Intriguing, promising, almost gripping.

Finding their location in my area was not a hard task, driving there after an eternal day of labour and hunger was a bit harder, but the hardest test was waiting for me on the spot.

***

A kaleidoscope of images of Rotary members (or covert agents?) from the website hyped the machine of my imagination, building a strong perception of the whole thing . Their marketing department did a great job. My respect! Naturally, I expected to meet people at least under the age of 80. Approaching the creamy building that seemed to look like my destination, I saw two old ladies making their way up the stairs. “Excuse me, how do I get to Rotary?” “Come with us”.

Still intriguing, somewhat promising, less gripping.

It takes a few more seconds and here we are, in a modest hall filled with partisans-of-good. A chairman is making a speech. The plot thickens as all glances are turned on me and my presence literally materializes into an echo of the steps and the light noise of a shifted chair. Heavy attention blended with unspoken bewilderment hangs in the air. And I can see why – being at least two generations younger than the great majority, their aroused curiosity is more than expected.

I was absolutely out of place, out of time, out of this alien reality. Squinting, stealthily glances pricked me occasionaly, accentuating my own feeling of irrelevance.

When the session was finally over and I was clawing my way out to gulp some fresh air, an old man sitting next to me asked whether I was a daughter of one of the members. He was barefacedly surprised to hear that I was interested to join, and muttered something about interests not peculiar to people my age. Flattering as it was, I came there for a different purpose,  after all.

Leapin’ Lizards!

It must be some sort of a waylay. I must find the Pied Piper who took them away.

***

Those of you, my dear readers, who happen to be members – I’m dead curious to know what is the age span in your area? Maybe I’m missing something here. Is it a “mauvais ton” for young people to take part in charity?

***

I saw a movie once, don’t really remember its name or year, but the plot was the following:

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An elderly couple met each other after thirty or forty years of living separate lives. Both widowed, have grown children and grandchildren. Age has removed unnecessary fetters of shyness that can be such a nuisance in younger years.

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The two are sitting on the bench next to each other, and the old man says:

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“I used to be in love with you. I saw us living our lives together.” And the lady says: “You know, I felt pretty much the same way too. And I surely would have married you…”. “Why didn’t you, then?” asks the man. (A silly question, isn’t it?) “Well, you never asked me to”.

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***

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Just to think how things would have looked like… had we always said the right words to the right people in the right time. Two folks separated for a lifetime by a barrier of a momentary diffidence, repeating itself time after time. Some might say “Determinism! It was probably meant to be”. And I say “bullshit!”. A man builds it all with his own hands and mind, fully and solely responsible for every piece of shit he produces.

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***

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Back on course - how do we disintegrate this impenetrable wall of fear, shyness or reluctance? How do we kill the bugaboo?

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Said relative of mine offers a simple and effective solution. “Always be one step ahead your fear”, she says. “Don’t give yourself the luxury to think the whole phrase through, but shoot the first word. Just start the gambit no matter what, and you’ll see that there is no way back but say it all…”

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Good advice, though I have never tried it myself.

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Developing “thick skin” is another way, though it might cast side effects on every other flanks of life. Lack of sensitivity shields you from being hurt but burns out the dyes of joy as well. The equation is always canceled from both sides. These are laws of math. There are laws of life. We don’t want to cancel joy now, do we?

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I beat the fear by reckoning. Weighing the advantages of positive outcome vs the risk of being refused.

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Although it was not always like that. It took fear a while to stop hindering me.

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***

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“Tommy, go make friends with Jimmy…”

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Imagine a playground swarmed with toddlers and kids twirling and whirling, emitting tonnes of young, joyful energy. Friends make friends in a split-second. Without terms and conditions.

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If you take a closer look, you’ll notice a child, standing aloof, silently watching others. Waiting to be formally introduced by a third party.

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Who is this kiddo?

***

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Fear is not your enemy, it is a part of you. Frivolously speaking, fighting it, is just like fighting yourself – vain and pernicious. Learn to manipulate it and have “a little chat” with yourself when it is getting too far on you. It’s a shrewd way of finally reducing it to “smoldering rubble”. Take my word on it, would you?aware of his existence

***

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Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact, if anything, I am the prod.”

(Sir Winston Churchill)

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Speaking of success and hardships – do they necessarily intertwine?

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Is is possible to reach your goal without thrusting yourself forwards with all might, arrowing inexorably, looking straight ahead? Are there any shortcuts or workarounds ? Can great things be achieved easily?

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……

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My experience says no.

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My history of “personal achievements” clearly states: “Want to get it? You’ll have to fight for it”.

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…here is one of my favorite quotes:

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Mathilda: Is life always this hard, or is it just when you’re a kid?
Léon: Always like this.

(From “Léon“)

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Now I wonder, why does it have to be so hard?

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First things first. The English language. It took me several years to acquire a few “mother tongues” though I owe neither motherland nor ethnic identity. “Citizen of the world” would probably say it all. But at some point I realized just how essential the English language is and sank my teeth into it. This was my first intellectual combat. I was ten.

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Then things started rock-n-rolling in a more predictable way: getting a smaller coup here, a bigger one there. Falling and raising, losing and gaining. Every made mistake bringing me closer to success – no matter how banal and blatant is may sound.

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Three iron rules have been threading my way all along –

• Work like crazy.
  
• Network like crazy.
  
• Study like crazy.

In other words: it’s all or nothing.

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Now allow me to introduce Mr. Doubt – my lifetime companion, always picking up the worst time to make sure I am sure. No wonder, I am never completely sure. Never taking a word for anything unless I feel, smell or taste the proof. In this case I doubt, whether it is a matter of wrong choice or bad luck.  When your boisterous activity seems to lead nowhere. When you can’t see through the intangible fog of uncertainty. When you keep revising the variables of your equation but find no errors: the subjects you study, the professions you follow, the people you hang around. But gyrating back and forth still doesn’t take you anywhere: it only makes your head spin.

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When things get too tough, just let go – my inner voice sagely sings. Damn, inner voices are smart! Drop it. Dump it. If only for a day, an hour  or a minute but give yourself a chance to revise and amend. Running at full sails when you’re worn and unsteady is unwise: (here the “voicie” goes again). Sails are torn, your ship is cast onto the rocks. Frustrating and painful as much as it can be.

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Fight, but don’t destroy it all. Fight, but choose your weapon carefully. Fight, but don’t get yourself killed. When the right words don’t fit into a melody, when people don’t reply to your emails, when your career is stuck and your college classes suck, this is an obvious sign of protest. Protest against running idle, mistakenly expecting a vital result.

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There are times when things are getting just too unbearably hard, aren’t there? All you need is… rest up and think. Think hard. Alright, I’ll be consistent. Don’t think too hard but also don’t waste your time running idle. This is the worst it can be.

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***

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So here it comes again: can great things be achieved easily?

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My experience says no.

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But maybe I am wrong?

***

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Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Isn’t it a nuisance to find yourself rewinding somebody’s else woes and issues inside your mind?

Not to some people. It’s a kind of entertainment – playing the role of an amateur psychologist, sharing your opinions with friends and relatives. Getting involved.  And, this is an effective way of putting your own troubles aside.

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It is flattering. It makes us feel important and significant. We are agog to devour fresh news and keep our minds busy. These unresolved issues is our food for thought, especially when our own life seems to be too trouble-free.

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Where lie the delicate boundaries between being a “good friend, in need” and putting yourself down to misery, others’ lives dogging you all along the way sucking out energy and financial resources? You might be remunerated by the illusion of superiority.  By feeling secretly proud of being trusted and admitted to somebody’s private realm. These are subtle, but powerful incentives that dictate, almost force our actions. What next?

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Phone calls in the middle of the night from a colleague who has just split up for the sixth time from her ex-ex-ex, your aunt’s friend’s hysterical sister who is trying to figure out her life and your brother’s old university friend who … would you finish up the sentence?

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It can get worse, people asking you for money and dragging you into legal issues. Just like it happened to the Devoted Friend (well, maybe not legal issues, but his garden was in a total mess).

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There must be balance. Vanity vs misery. Being good vs being yourself.

***

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Do you believe in pure charity? I do not. We all gain something from anything we do for ourselves or others. It doesn’t always have to be money. There are spiritual values like Power, Vanity, Generosity, Importance, Superiority – to name a few.

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I have a friend, who is in a perpetual process of helping others. People call him nonstop, asking for advice, asking for money, asking to talk to other people, asking to sell, asking to buy, asking to lend, asking to rent – their pleas have no end! Does it make him happy? Not happy, but dignified.  Is there anything missing in his own life? I am sure there is.

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Another humanitarian acquaintance of mine is a young girl in her twenties, trying to look and sound maturer than she happens to be. In her friends’ cycle, she is known as a “shoulder to cry on” and many, who call themselves her friends, actually use her for that. Though she does not mind being “used” at all, despite her occasional lamentations. Balance is kept, everybody get their dose. No favors.

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I wonder whether these pseudo-psychologists have the integrity to analyze what underlies this kind of behavior. Crave for emotions? Balm for their own misery? Pure generosity – possible, but implausible.

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It is natural to help your friends, relatives and whoever there is. It is a virtue to give advice and lend money to people who matter to you. It is acceptable to get a call from friend in the middle of the night and let him cry his heart out. But not when filling your own void with somebody’s worries falls into a habit. There are questions you should ask yourself, then… Why have I been focused on my cousin’s relationship problems for the past few months? Why have I been resolving my friend’s fight with her boss during the week, ignoring a pile of unfinished tasks on my desk? Why did I cancel an appointment for the third time and rush to the other side of town to help another friend close a deal selling his apartment?

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It might take a while to realize, that we are not held responsible for whatever happens in the lives of our loved ones, our friends, colleagues and relatives. We might to some extent, if you like it that way. But not at the cost of our mental balance.

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Think about your life for a moment. Have you ever been dragged into becoming a problem-solving engine? Do you find yourself sinking into these “psycho-sessions” on a regular basis, not having a chance to share your grievances but halving the burden of others?

***

Free Stock Photos for websites – FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Preamble:

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I was never good in chemistry , so somebody please tell me this: if silence is gold and talk is silver, then what goes for a mixture of agitated self-expression through loud speech growing into shouting?

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It’s 7 a.m. on a chilly Saturday. A ruthless sound cuts into my sleep. I jump out of bed, my eyes still closed, feverishly trying to remember where I might have left the thing. A few seconds later, the ringing stops and I naturally conclude that somebody must have picked it up. It takes me about five minutes to sail to full awakening and realize that it wasn’t my phone.

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There is one thing I cannot grasp, gauge and digest. Why. Why do I have to share every detail of my neighbors’ lives? Why am I so deeply involved in the course of their actions, their family fights, their toilet breaks and TV shows? Why do I witness their misery?

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Let alone neighbors next door, I’m in the closest ear contact with everyone and everything going on under my windows and in the house on the other side of the street. I have a full report of their happy and sad moments – ask anytime. I don’t know their names but I know what makes them laugh and what ignites their passionate quarrels. A male individual (species and origin unknown) who lives on the second floor vomits curses or tediously preaches his family members on a regular basis. Now there is a bunch of freaks living just across the street, who rock my world. Literally. I love Pink Floyd. But now that we’ve got the earphones, is it really necessary to share one’s musical passion with the world? I wonder how much time it took their neighbors to upgrade their immune system to the decibels.

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Pizza delivery guys shake the neighborhood occasionally with their monstrously rattling motorbikes, accompanied by the roaring lawn mowers on the background.

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* * *

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This is “a day in the life”. This is peace, not quiet. This is an autonomic, very sensitive micro-planet refilling its atmosphere with nonstop, sparking emotions. Its life thrives and blossoms independently, its population never shuts up. Except for the two darkest hours before dawn, maybe. It’s like being one, big, blind family with superhuman ears – barely seeing each other, but being perpetually connected through sounds.

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Sometimes I forget in what galaxy I am. The cacophony of human voices and motor sounds makes me feel like I’m living in a hybrid of an Italian quarter infested by illegal Mexican immigrants’.

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I believe they exist. Quiet places inhabited by quiet people (and I’m not talking about cemeteries!), who have no propensity to trespass other quiet people’s private space. Drop me a line if you know such a place.

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P.S. Maybe all they need is a fast internet connection? It keeps me quiet..

]]> http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/10/09/knock-knock-now-who-is-there/feed/ 4 ostrix tall house http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/collage-of-incidents-and-episodes/ http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/collage-of-incidents-and-episodes/#comments Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:41:39 +0000 ostrix http://ostrix.wordpress.com/?p=361 ]]>

Pardon my French

A few years ago I happened to be in Paris. It was a remarkable experience, but on the last day of the voyage I had twisted my ankle, an incident, that coerced me to spend a few idle moments on a bench in a shadowy park. Soon after my friend had left to get me some water, a tolerably looking guy had materialized out of nothingness and made a polite attempt to offer me a cigarette. In French. My multilingual nature had saved me this time as it usually does, when, recruiting all my poor vocabulary, I rejected the cigarette as well as all potential gestures this subject might have intended to make. He landed on the next bench, squinting in my direction from time to time, which might have made me feel uneasy on another occasion, but not this time: the ankle has steadily reminded me of its painful existence. When my water-carrying friend had approached, the Frenchman’s mobile phone rang and we both heard him speaking pure Russian. Being a Russian immigrant myself, my ex-compatriots never stop surprising me by the fact of their multi-dimensional existence, spread worldwide like debris of what used to be the “mighty” Soviet Union.

Havana Club

“Never underestimate the power of denial” (American Beauty)

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Speaking of that time when I found myself in this bizarre place called “Havana club” (Bratislava, Slovakia), I would rephrase the quote: “never underestimate the power of low alcohol resistance”. It doesn’t happen to me very often. In fact, I could easily count these occasions on my fingers. Being inexperienced with cocktails in particular and alcohol in general, I, nevertheless, ventured some unknown mixture of intoxicating liquids with a luring name of strawberry-something… Who could have thought it would be a monstrous solution of pure alcohol and a reddish fluid with a distant reminiscence of the flavor of strawberry. Like they promised, indeed. The very first drops ruthlessly found their way into my “thinking authority department”, made me press into the nearest wall and stay there. Inertly watching the rhythmic jerking of unattractive bodies has drastically diminished marginal value of every passing moment. Scientifically speaking, ehh… I wanted to get out of that place as quickly as possible, but, being quite handicapped, had to wait for my moderately sober friends in high spirits to have their good time. The rule of seeing the bright side of everything in life did not save me: the evening was ultimately and completely ruined. The rest of it was spent myself standing bluntly in the rustic hall, trying to ignore the emanated vapors and the cacophony of sounds and attain some equilibrium in my deranged mind.

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Rules are made to be broken, and life errors are made to be put down to experience, aren’t they? There is one thing that brings me consolation: the prudent doll (from “Guys and Dolls”) who was taken to the pub in Havana drank a lot more.

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Green Stuff

What makes RUBY TUESDAY so unique?

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• It’s Rolling Stones.

• It’s food.

• It’s my food (unlimited salad bar).

Is there any justification for other restaurants in the world besides RT?

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The green empire offers a perfect and what’s more important – endless menu for lettuce addicts. Its perfection lies in its endlessness. I just hate seeing my food fade away, knowing there will be no more of it. If you begin feeling uneasy, waiters watching you refilling your plate for the fourth time, cut the first sprouts of discomfort . Use the opportunity to foster a skill of ignoring whoever rains on your parade. Just smile back vacuously when the super-nice waitress smiles at you. This is your green party.

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Photo taken from: www.freephotosbank.com and www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

]]> http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/collage-of-incidents-and-episodes/feed/ 0 ostrix park from www.freephotosbank.com cocktail salad http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/the-power-of-choice/ http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/the-power-of-choice/#comments Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:06:06 +0000 ostrix http://ostrix.wordpress.com/?p=322 ]]>

The road not taken (by Robert Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood 
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- 
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

*         *         *

 

My head spins when I think of all the things I could have done instead of sitting and writing this. F r a nkly, there are, indeed, too many alternatives available in every given moment, and it’s great we don’t h ave to keep all them in mind (which I doubt is even possible) but simply live on.

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The tragedy starts when we find ourselves on the other side of the shore, apathetically listening to the ticking clock, indifferently watching the course of events passing by.

What is a conscious choice and how free are we to make one?

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#1 PROCRASTINATION

A friend of mine, I’ll call her Lily, is a keen worker with a high level of responsibility and selflessness. A bit too much, judging from my own, selfish perspective. Except her professional skills, she is a reliable and supportive friend, always there to lend a hand. When I’m trying to think of her disadvantages, for the sake of this example, nothing comes across my mind.

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For years, she’s been working in a company with no future, for a boss she hated, often overloaded with her colleges’ assignments helping them out. Unable to say “no”. When I asked her why doesn’t she quit and look for a better job, she usually started twaddling something fuzzy about it being not the right time and that she hasn’t made her mind yet. There was always something to come up, not letting her make the move. The excuses for her procrastination sounded amazingly persuadable.

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#2 PURSUING A GOAL

Another friend is a professional artist and a violinist. She’s genuinely gifted and moreover, truly enjoys her playing and fosters a dream of embodying her talent into something bigger than entertaining the neighborhood with Paganini. None the less, when it comes to practical moves about her musical career, she makes one step forward and two steps back. Melanie – not her real name – plays the first violin in a small orchestra in her hometown. In my opinion, she’s got all it takes to make it, except pertinacity.

I have given her the recipe: Two glasses of numerous professional connections and active participation in music life – sure enough, she’s got that already. A table spoon of patience and a tea spoon of alertness. Scrape up all the will and persistence you’ve got in the house, borrow from your grateful neighbors (there can never be “too much”) and pour the lock stock and barrel in. Stir lightly, let it stew for a while. The persistence will slowly evaporate, but keep adding some more.

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Melanie never used this or another recipe. Instead, she keeps nagging, unhappy with the way she lives but does nothing to alter a bit of it.

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#3 SETTING WRONG GOALS

This time, it’s a far relative, let’s call her Sandy, who’s an excellent salesperson. One of the best I know, certainly a whole lot better than myself. Unfortunately, social dogmas and norms have imposed their pernicious influence upon this girl’s mind. The issue here is about a college degree, which she is eager to obtain at any cost, on any subject, ignoring her present career opportunities. “A person with a college degree is always more valuable and successful than a person without one” – sounds familiar? Just let me remind you, that Bill Gates, one of the richest men in the world, somehow made his way to the miraculous fortune before even having a diploma. Naturally, education does play its role in a person’s career, as long as it correlates and contributes to said person’s occupation in this way or another. But we’re talking about chasing rainbows here. Sandy is in her mid 20-ies, and she hasn’t got the slightest idea about what she wants to study and why. But she is ready to sacrifice her quickly ascending sales career in a stable, promising company just because obtaining a degree, any degree, seems to be the “right thing”.

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Psychology is not my cup of tea, and these three, apparently need some qualified coaching tips. Nobody is perfect, and I must admit that I have fallen into the “social norms” trap several times in my life. Fighting for something I didn’t really need, pretending to want something I didn’t care about, inclining to standards that did not correspond with my own goals. It’s getting better now that I’ve learned to analyze the process, taking notes of my own and others’ mistakes.

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• Wanting without acting.

• Acting without thinking.

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These are the most prominent life errors that devour our time and energy, pushing us backward, away from success.

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Look around you. How many people you know use their mind and energy to get closer to self-realization? Would you place yourself among them?

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Photos taken from: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Free Stock Photos for websites – FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What is home anyway? I’ve never had one, so I’m asking you, my readers.

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I’ve seen other people’s homes. I’ve seen rooms, decorated and caressed with exquisite furniture, shining floor, window curtains and floor carpets matching colors and styles. I’ve seen designed kitchens and bedrooms, polished and garnished, with unique and cozy items smartly positioned on the right places creating the right atmosphere. I’ve seen other people’s fireplaces, hilariously blazing and sparkling in comfy living rooms, with a distinguished dinning table royally situated in its center, surrounded by no less superior chairs. I’ve seen lily-white statues and magnificent palms resting in the distant corners of spacious guest rooms and vast halls; portraits and masterpieces emblazoning beautifully painted walls.

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It must be super-great to own your own home – forgive the pun. It must be a hell of a job as well, and one should like this kind of job – keeping things in order, making sure there are no leaks, breaks or fractures. Now what about the outlook? What’s the point in building a massive piece of blocks and bricks if it doesn’t have an identity? Naturally, plenty of homeowners enjoy decorating their caves by themselves, which usually ends up with a matrimonial tour to a furniture store. Stuffing your place with the most exquisite and modern pieces of furniture is just not enough: without a professional touch the picture is often incomplete. This is what interior design is all about – invigorating spirit into your household items and enhancing the atmosphere using techniques vs creativity.  Interior designer is a costly solution, indeed. Which brings me to the next topic.

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Speaking in terms of cost-effectiveness, I consider home ownership to be rather a liability than an asset. Of course, you can always sell it (or can you really?) and have all or some of your money back, but then you still need a place to stay. Home-maintenance, which burdens the “costly” side of the scale, is the major liability, weighing more than some people can imagine. Besides the property tax, you’ve got the daily maintenance issues which cannot be avoided. Mending, fixing and repairing, taking care of the garden (you don’t want to have a house without a place for your four-legged buddy, do you?) – all these are the privileged and sovereign duties of a homeowner.

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Generally speaking, before installing myself in a sumptuous mansion somewhere in the outskirts of town I would make sure of two things:

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• Readiness to spend a considerable part of my life behind the wheel. Living in a suburban or rural area, where these sweet American Dream houses are usually located, means – mobility!

• Financial readiness and ability to sustain household maintenance issues such as cleaning and gardening services, property insurance and taking care of household items (pipelines, for instance) on a daily basis.

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Other important aspects of potential financial risks and expenses are presented here.

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Home ownership requires financial commitments that need to be taken into consideration before making the turn. It might look as if I’m vilifying the idea, but it is not true. Being a disinterested observer, I am trying to preview the fullest picture possible.

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What comes to your mind when you hear the word “home-ownership”? Thinking of cons and pros, which side are you on?

]]> http://ostrix.wordpress.com/2009/09/25/anybody-home/feed/ 0 ostrix home